Weird movie...

I'm 27. That is, in and of itself, completely unremarkable. Lots of people are 27. Millions, probably, at this very moment, and hurling around the sun for the 27th time. And, so it goes, you move on and become 28. And then 40. And then you play shuffleboard on a Carnival Cruise, complain to the Condo Association about the new neighbors and their noise, and cantankerously wait to be with Jesus. Or, something like that. Anyway, the point is, 27 ain't that big of a deal. Of course, contextually, 27 can mean quite a bit- in some countries and cultures, I'd be a tribal elder, a father of multiple children, a devoted husband who had married very early on, as was the custom. Or, given the state of most of the world right now, I'd probably be dead- be it disease, ethnic cleansing, war, or famine, I'd be a memory at best. More than likely I'd be fertilizer. That's hardly where I am trying to take this little exercise, so I'll leave that be for now, even though it is interesting to consider. No, for me, right now, I am a twenty seven year old man, living in Seattle, trying to sort through my ideas about equality, fairness, justice, commerce, family, education, friendship, spirituality, relationships, sexuality; I'm living each day, encountering scenarios and situations as a maturing and thoughtful 27 year old man. I do not have all (or many, as it turns out) of THE answers for the questions I see posed, but I do have responses and guesses that come from experience and luck that seem to get me a little closer to synthesizing thoughts and actions. I can't know the future of my life, but I can start to understand who I am on a fundamental level. I can't call all things black and white, but I'm getting better at navigating the grey seas. I never once dreamed that I would live through a phase of life where transition and uncertainty were mainstays, and where calm and unruffled composure and rock-solid resolve are abstract concepts. I naively believed that Life would simply happen, that it would require little to no work from me. Not to go into great detail now, but I think, for the first time really, that the last few weeks have truly shown me what it means to be alive.
I am realizing that the reason I feel so deeply about my fellow 27 year olds dying in Iraq is because I think death and destruction are such a waste of life and creation. I am realizing that my mad-cap plan to breed business-nonprofit hybrids isn't a silly notion I picked up somewhere along the line, but it is core to who I am developing and becoming. I am a 27 year old man, and I am embracing the chaos and the shrugged shoulders and the let downs and the dreams as my life.
Life Doesn't Just Happen. You have to grab it.
I am alive, it turns out, and hurtling straight toward 28.

Good intentions...

I am a sucker. I am reborn every minute. Every second, maybe. I give
most folks a wide berth, even when I know I am being BS'd. This has
caused me a great deal of personal grief, and it has also caused me to
commit to doing certain things because I don't want to let someone
down or make them feel less of me. I just can't take it, so I give
in.
I am also a semi-shrewd internet shopper. I get great deals on the
things I purchase over the web. Hence the 5 Dozen Red Hats purchased
for my Team Zissou party that set me back about 2 cases of really
cheap beer. I write both of these things to illustrate a point.
Being a sucker can totally override your shrewdest sensibilities in a
matter of nanoseconds; you literally roll-over at the first sign of
advance of an advantage-taker. I am really trying to get better, be
more defensive, stick to my guns, blah blah blah, but I recently found
myself again on the yellow road to retreat.
I bought a drumset off CraigsList.
I have found some incredible deals on CL, most of which I have never
been able to capitalize on due to my internal sense of thrift and my
notion that something better will inevitibly come along. Which it
does, by the way, ever 2.5 seconds on CL. The other reasons that I
have rarely made CL work for me have mostly been the instances that I
have made contact (usually bing told that I am the first responder!
Oh lucky day...), but that commerce will have to wait "until
tomorrow." But every once in a while, I will connect with a seller,
talk, negotiate a meeting, and drive myself (with the drumset it was
Lake Stevens...) to simply look at the item.
Sucker. I am reborn every minute. In poker, I did the equivalent of
showing the other players my cards, and then promptly giving them my
chips. Basically, the drumset is not that great (parts of it are,
parts of it ain't), and I decide, because I like the guy and because I
need to start practicing, to buy the whole thing, without dickering or
questioning, or simply buying the parts that I want and leaving the
rest. Oh no, I take the whole stinkin' thing. And my biggest take
away from the interaction? He's selling the drumkit so that he and his
wife can have space for Foster kids. No idea if it's for real (I bet
it is though...cuz I'm like that), but in my mind and heart there is
absolutely no way in hell that I am going to complain AT ALL about my
purchase. Hell, I am doing a public service!

Sucker. I am reborn every minute.

The best part is, upon further evaluation, it's going to cost roughly
the same to bring this kit up to practicing par as it would for a
brand new kit...elsewhere on the web...

Sucker.